I’m very good at finding the negative in things, especially myself. Ask me to name 5 good things about myself and I will struggle. Five negative? I can rattle those off no problem! (I think I used to be really afraid of people thinking I was stuck-up when I was younger, and maybe that just snowballed?)
Anyway, I want to really make it a focus to be more positive. And I’m a little bit proud of my thinking today. I’m sick, there are mess ups at work that are affecting me and others that are keeping us from doing things, and there are situations that have changed at work that will make my job harder. But when I got home, I felt good. I had a great lunch with some friends/coworkers, I had people come in to help me do something I absolutely suck at, and I was told how much one of my former students loved me. 🙂
This is how I want to end each day. And it is something that I can control.
Whew, there is just too much going on! Instead of trying to organize everything, I’m just going to write as it comes:
-I’m stressed about my classroom. I went in early this year to set up. I have a new room with none of the storage I’ve had in my other rooms. I have to rethink everything. My room was probably about 85% complete, with lots of little things left. Found out my room, and a few others, had mold. Workers came, did the other two rooms, said they never got the order for my room. (I saw the order- all three rooms were clearly listed.) I have no idea when they are coming, and when they do they will take every single thing out of my room. So I get to set it up all over again, but this time I’m sure everyone else will be done with their room and be ready to plan. Ugh.
I did my walk/run this morning. For some reason I cannot seem to get myself back in an exercise routine. I used to work out six days a week and loved it. I ran a half marathon before. Now I’m struggling to do a 30 minute walk/run. BUT, today felt good.
I kind of wish I could change my work schedule. I would have our one week of teacher workdays THIS week instead of next week, then have next week off, then start with the kids. That way, I could hopefully have all my materials this week and really relax before the kids start. Instead, everyone will come back next week, and I will have to try to get the rest of my classroom computers, the correct TV, ALL curriculum materials…and I won’t have time to go through the stuff I need to teach.
Which reminds me…this will be my fifth year teaching and it will be the fifth year I will be expected to teach new standards (grade change), yet I don’t get any time to look through my materials.
The person in charge of textbooks and math/science materials slacks on her job, and because of that we get all of our stuff late.
OK, I am going to make myself think positively! Tonight I will go to a training and by 9pm I should have all major pieces done so I can renew my teaching license in home state! Football will be starting soon. My Saturdays and Sundays will be full for a while! I saw my class list last week. It’ll probably change, but as of right now I think I will have a REALLY awesome class! There are a few behavior problems, but most of them have lost their “partners” and so I’m expecting much better from them. But I have a couple of super awesome kids who are excited to be in my class.
Whew. Feels better already!
Yesterday, I went into school to get some work done in my classroom. The past few times I’ve gone it, I had a goal in mind. Somehow, each time, some barrier came up to keep me from accomplishing my goal. It was beginning to feel very frustrating.
This year, I will be in a new room, teaching a new grade. The person in there before taught something completely different, and when she left, she took all of the “good stuff.” (She will be teaching on a cart, but took all of the storage. Except for the broken stuff.). I have no cubbies, no hooks, no curriculum materials. But I knew I would make it work.
Anyway, I spoke to my mom about some of the obstacles earlier in the summer, just to vent. Today, she told me a gift card was in the mail so I can get cubbies for my room. She feels badly that in year five, I’m still making a first year teacher’s salary, and that this spring and summer my bills have gone up $300 each month. Here’s the thing- she has been a single parent for about 20 years now and always had to save for everything. She doesn’t have extra money to spare. And, her position at work will be cut early in the fall. But she wanted me to have what I needed.
Also today, a coworker came to help me install some pieces I had gotten from another coworker. This was not a fun process, but she wanted to make sure it was done, and it was done well.
In the grand scheme of life, these three things are not huge. However, I feel so much better today than I have all summer. I finally got a huge thing done in my classroom, something I could not have done on my own. A while I know there are more than enough people who have no respect for teachers, my mom helped remind me today that there are people out there who value teachers. And there is at least one person out there who values me!
Now, how can I show kindness to others?!?