Monthly Archives: April, 2013

190,000

I’m finding that I have a few drafts that I want to work on, but I will save those for another week. I feel like this is becoming a place for me to whine, but I’m also seeing that that is kind of where I am in my life right now- very confused and not sure where to go. I don’t really talk about my feelings and issues, so it has been helpful to write about it here. 

But today, I want to write about my car. As I drove into my apartment complex parking lot, the odometer hit 190,000. I am driving home (as in family home!) on Friday to buy a new car and I am glad I got to see that milestone!

This is the car I learned how to drive in. It was about a year old when my mom got it, and she bought it when I turned 15 so I could have her old car and she would then have the “new” one. However, I ended up driving the new one around and my mom loved her old one so much, the new one was mine!

Other people have driven it. I couldn’t have a car during my first year of college, and that was the same year my sister learned how to drive and got her permit, so it was shared between the two of us. My next two years of college, I couldn’t bring it with me because my mom couldn’t afford two cars, so my mom and sister got to use it back home. My mom sure did manage to put a good amount of miles on it! Finally, I got the car all to my last year of college, and it’s been mine-all-mine ever since. 

This car has been with me for a lot. Learning to drive, visiting colleges (it was even broken into during one visit!), taking me to move in for undergrad, going to grad school, and moving here to my new state by myself. 

It’s over ten years old. Almost 200,000 miles (I HATE that I won’t get to see that mark!). So many life changes. And this weekend, I need to get a new car. Mine is just breaking down too much. I’ve already had to take it in three times this year! 

There are a lot of things I’m not sure about, a lot of stresses in my life right now. I’m really getting sad that I’ll be getting a new car, just because this is really the only one I’ve ever known! I’ve had it for the past 11 years! (And I was hoping to get student loans paid for first- oh well!).

It seems to me that quality isn’t really what it used to be for a lot of the things I buy now. I hope my next car is as good to me as my first- and I hope I have some great adventures it in!

Getting Something Out

When it rains, it pours!

 

I have several drafts that I would like to sit down and write, but I know I’m not “there” yet with them. So instead, I’ll just do some rambling/~free writing.

I recently went to a writing conference where we did an “actual” free write. We were challenged to write nonstop for 10 minutes straight. I was able to do it, and was surprised at what I saw. I am a very quiet person, and I don’t necessary share a lot, especially with things that are bothering or worrying me. It was interesting to see how much was actually on my mind. And, it was interesting to see that every other person at my group saw the same thing in their writing! Is that a teacher thing?!

Anyway, I started to feel just a bit more at peace with some things, and then this weekend happened. I feel as though I am stuck. I just learned that my sister is moving away (I currently live 5 hours from her- it’ll now take about a day to drive), and I think that is what really set me off. But you know, it can’t just stop there- I need more things to worry about! Like my car that is slowly dying on me, and I don’t have the money for a new (to me) one. I am about to enter my fifth year of teaching and I am still making the same amount I made my first year. And so on and so forth.

I really want to be a more positive person!! I want to stop dwelling on the negatives, but I really do need to get some of these things taken care of. The hard thing is, these things either  don’t have a quick/easy fix, or there are some things that I can’t do anything about at all. 

Oh boy. One day, something will click and this will all work out!

Things

This has been a very stressful past two days, and I can’t wait until tomorrow is over!

Last week was Spring Break. I didn’t get to go home to visit family, but it turns out it was wonderful to just stay home (how many homes do I have?!). All of my friends left town for break, with some dropping in, so it was nice. But, I didn’t do enough of the things I needed to do. Sunday was rough.

Monday was rougher. I had things due at work, that I put off until the last minute, and a test, that I put of studying for. How sad is it that I got my masters almost four years ago, and I’m just now learning how to study?

So Monday was done, and now I just have a big class trip tomorrow. 

I’d say it will be nice after tomorrow, but of course there are going to be way more things coming. Hopefully I will be able to enjoy tomorrow and not just stress! And learn how to not wait until the last minute for everything!

On Organization

Instead of doing everything I need to be doing, I decided to check out pinterest (way late to this game), and I saw a bunch of stuff on organizing. I found one blog that is amazing and that person is who I want to be! 

A lot of my stress comes from my lack of organization. I try things, but a lot of them never stick, or they’re too complicated to be useful. I really have to try things out in order to see if they work for me/could work with changes, and that is stressful, because it takes time and mistakes to get it to work. But I’m slowly learning some things that work for me and am making a few things habits.

Anyway, I am really on the lookout for different organizational strategies. Next year I will probably have about 30 people in a trailer all day long, and I don’t need any self-made stress. Next year I will start out as the crazy organized teacher and MAKE my kids be organized. In fact, I will start that this quarter.

As usual, I had several way better posts written in my head, but when I finally sat down to write, this is what I got. Hopefully, I will get better at this whole writing thing.