I saw where someone asked the question “Was your first job your dream job” and it definitely made me think. When I started looking for a job after I finished school, I knew I wouldn’t really have a shot at my “top two” districts. One of them was just very small and there were two or three schools I could work at; the other one was a bit different. I had an interview and some bits there, but then there was a hiring freeze and I knew I couldn’t wait for it to be over. So, I expanded my search to cities I never thought about previously. Again, I quickly learned I probably wouldn’t get my “first choice” grade level (I’m putting these phrases in quotes because I knew I wasn’t sure if these were the districts/grades for me but they were what I wanted to try first). I kept getting interviews for positions in grades that I knew I probably wouldn’t want, and one grade I knew I didn’t want, but at that point I needed a job and I was going to take what I could get.
So I got a job in one of my last choice grade levels, but it was in a city I thought I would love and in a school that looked awesome. I’ve had the opportunity to try various grade levels at the school throughout the years, learned what I like and what I don’t, and learned what I need in a workplace and what I could do without. As it turns out, this city is definitely not what I want, even though it has tons of great aspects. This school is definitely not for me; some of those reasons are things that aren’t bad and are just things that exist in these types of schools, but some things are things I just am so over and don’t need to deal with. (This is when I wish I could be more specific because this paragraph could use some work!)
I’m excited about my new job in this new city. It’s almost a complete 180 from where I’m at and what I’m doing now in a lot of aspects! It could very well be my dream job! The funny thing is, this is one of the last places and grade levels I thought I would want to do. But without these past few years in this place that is not the dream, I may never have this new dream job. I’m definitely learning to take what I’m giving and learn and grow from it. Here’s hoping I can continue to do that!
I just wrote a post that was getting way too long and I think I lost my focus in it. Basically, it was about having those conflicting feelings now that my move is getting closer. I think about how this city has never felt like home, and I don’t want to continue to live like that! I think about how I can’t see myself at my school in ten years (at least, I won’t be happy there). But I also think about those few really special people I’ve met here who make it hard to leave. Who I will really miss and I will be heart broken if we don’t keep in touch. And about how isn’t it funny that the sweetest part is what is making this so hard?
I’m trying to deal with a lot of things right now and so my mind is all over the place. I think I did a “10 Things Right Now” post at one point, so I’m going to do a “Right Now” post to get some stuff OUT of my head!
*My new job was supposed to become official today, but they cancelled the school board meeting! I won’t get my contract until after the board approves it. I’ve been told it’s just a formality, the school and HR and proceeding as if I have been officially hired, they’ve signed me up for trainings, etc., but I am NOT resigning from my current job until I have signed a contract. I want that thing signed so my principal has plenty of time to find someone awesome to take over my spot AND so I can feel like I can actually breathe!
*I’m very nervous about this move. The date I need to go in for my new job keeps getting pushed up, and I will end up starting this school year about a month sooner than my current school. I’m not saying this as a complaint, but I feel as though my summer has been all dealing with this job. Another reason I want to sign that contract- I want to have a week or two where I’m just dealing with summer and having fun! Guess I need to just do that anyway! 🙂
*I’m trying to get back into running. After making a few small gains, I had one of the worst runs ever last night. Hoping today will be better.
*I need to go clothes shopping. Badly. I’d also like some extra money to fall in my lap so I can do that.
*Moving- in the past, my mom and I have moved all my stuff. With my last move, I was finally in my own place and at a point where I was ready to buy some bigger pieces of furniture. So now, I have hit that limit where I need some movers. And I am finding that is going to be $$$.
*Life is very $$$.
*There are some marathons on of shows I like but I keep seeing episodes I’ve seen recently. That is a waste!
*In case it wasn’t clear- I AM READY FOR MY CONTRACT.
*More contract stuff.
Blah blah blah.
So Life Is Kinda Funny…
Last Tuesday, I had given up on getting a new job. I figured I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be, but apparently it just wasn’t in the cards this year.
When I woke up on Wednesday morning, I saw that I had a missed call and a voicemail. Someone had called to set up an interview! It wasn’t the perfect job, but it was something! Then, as I was driving to lunch, I got another call. The principal wanted me to come in the next day for an interview. I went, and about an hour later the assistant superintendent called to offer me the job!
Now, reality is smacking me hard in the face. At one point last year, I wanted nothing more than to leave my current place. I wasn’t clicking with my team at all, I thought I could reconnect with my sister, my really good friend at my current place was moving…there just weren’t any jobs. Well, there were some, but they were all at one school that I had a really bad feeling about. Then I found out my sister was moving across the country, I was getting moved to a grade level I was interested in with people who seemed great, and I just kind of made peace with the fact that I was staying for another year.
Now that I’m actually going to move, I’m thinking about what I’m leaving behind. (I guess I can’t ever just be happy, huh?!?) This has been the best team I’ve worked on as a teacher. I met someone this year who has become such an amazing friend, and I know that these relationships don’t happen very often. I know that a move of this distance can be a lot for many people, so right now I’m trying to focus on the positives and why it is a good thing for me. I’m probably going to need to refer to this often. 🙂 I’m trying to remind myself:
- At this new position, I’m teaching my favorite subject and that’s it! That will NEVER happen where I’m at now.
- While I’m a bit scared because, while I will be moving closer to hometown, it’s still a ways away. Instead of thinking “OMG I’m moving to a town I’ve never been to and where I know NO ONE,” I’m trying to think, “Hey! Great chance to get to know a new place and new people!” I think this one will be the hardest for me to be mostly thinking positively about! Change is hard for me, but it is needed in life sometimes!
- Hopefully, this awesome friendship I’ve formed will stay in tact. We can travel and visit each other! While there are other friends I’ve made here and people I will miss, unfortunately I know a lot of the relationships won’t continue. It’ll be hard to keep in touch and all those other things we tell each other. But this will be a great chance for me to work on keeping in touch with those who are important to me but know close to me physically.
- I’m not happy where I’m at right now. While I enjoy the kids I work with and my team, there are quite a few things I’d change about where I work. And some of those things will wear me down (some already have worn me down some as it is). I know I need to put in work if I want to be happy and not just content, and making necessary changes is part of that.
I think the biggest thing with me is that I like to have routines and consistency in my life. Change is hard for a lot of people, and I definitely don’t always handle it well, even when it’s something I know I need. And this timeline is going to be wacky, because I’m going to have to start sooner than I thought, so I’ll be having to go back and forth for about the first month or two of the new school year. I probably won’t be able to “settle down” until October.
But this is a change I need. I know the best I can ever do her is be content. That’s no way to live! Hopefully everything goes through and I get to move on to the next chapter of my life, without losing the good parts of this current one.