Teaching in general can wear me out. I like to think that normally, it is one of those tired-but-it-was-so-fun-getting-there tireds (I think it used to be like this). By the end of this year, I was tired because of some clique stuff and a lot of paperwork/other stuff I don’t feel like doing because I would rather be teach or preparing for what I need to teach stuff. I thought I would get to recharge with a program I’m working with this week, where I work with young writers.
I started out my career teaching at the primary level, and I really enjoyed it. I’ve been moving up and finding that I enjoy working with the older kids. I thought it would be so much fun to work with the little ones again. O.M.G. HOW did I do this? Granted, I’m doing a seven hour day of nothing but writing (and trying to add technology), but most of these kids slap down a few sentences and are done, and it’s only 15 minutes into our (let me repeat, SEVEN HOUR) day. They can’t type. They can’t get an web address correct. And I almost can’t take it!! It’s really challenging for me because I don’t have any of my old stuff and I had to scramble to get materials for this, so of course a lot of my stuff is just a little to over their heads.
Now honestly, this is just a really long day. Even with the older kids, this is a long time. I’m breaking up the day with plenty of recess and free computer time, but it still feels like a lot.
On the plus side (it really isn’t all bad!), I’m seeing some great creativity during recess, hearing some ?? stories, getting paid for, and I got some reflective writing done today.
The kids’ last day was Friday, but my last “teacher” day will be tomorrow. I will be back to do some summer group stuff next week, and then I’ll be really done next Thursday. This end of the year has been a bit different.
This was my fourth year at this school. Obviously next year will be my fifth. In my fourth different classroom. Teaching the third different grade level. In August, I will have lived in this city for four years, and I’m currently in my third place. I think I just figured out why it still doesn’t feel like home.
As I said, this end of year has been different. While we have lost people to retirements and resigning, it never really hit me that hard. At the beginning, I just really didn’t know the people leaving. This year, someone I have worked with each year, and who has helped me out a lot, is moving with her husband to my home state (but still a few hours from where my family is). I’m seeing that there is beginning to be a lot of coming and going, and that makes me really sad. My grade level team has been different each year, and will be completely different next year. I will, however, have about 12 students I have taught before in my class next year. While I love them, two of them drive me absolutely crazy (so I’m glad they wanted me- I’m hoping that means it wasn’t obvious they drive me crazy!). But there is a group of about 5 that are absolutely AMAZING and I’m starting to see how much I am going to need them next year.
I haven’t really had much consistency in my life, which is not good since I do well with consistency. There are too many important circumstances in my life right now that are up in the air and stressing me out. (There are also non-important things that I do know about that are stressing me out!) I am trying to get better at taking control of those things I can control and letting every thing else just be. On the outside, it must seem like I’m good at this- I get told I’m very flexible and go-with-the-flow a lot, but I need to make the inside match that.
So, in August, when I’m walking to a new classroom, working with a new team, and teaching a new curriculum (and dealing with who knows what else in my actual life outside of the classroom, such as getting a life outside of the classroom that doesn’t involve napping!), I will be extremely grateful for all of those familiar faces, giving me some consistency and, in their own sweet way, support.
*This is so NOT what I was expecting when I started to write this. It’s times like this that I realize how great writing, even journal-type writing, can be!! I have joined another writing thing this summer- hopefully I’ll have more moments like this.
It’s that time in the school year when I’m just completely overwhelmed. This is especially true this year- I’m changing classrooms and people want me done by Friday, the last day of school. My kids really want to help, but it’ll be hard to keep an eye on them, so…
Anyway, I really need a brain dump right now. So here goes!
I realized I graduated from high school nine years ago today. It’s funny (or sad?)- my life is nothing like I thought it would be. I tried to avoid being a teacher, but I think in the back of my head I think I knew that’s what I would be. I thought I’d be so many things by now- a wife, a mother. I think that’s the part that makes me sad. But the other things were so far from who I am I have no idea why I thought that would be my life!
I’m looking forward to school being over and my little one-week job being done so I can finally organize my apartment. The problem I have is I now have a very long summer, with one of my summer jobs falling through at the last minute. Sometimes, when I have a lot of time, I put things off so much that they never get done. Hoping that doesn’t happen this time.
My sister is moving, I believe this week. And I don’t believe she ever planned on telling me. I am really sad we are not as close as we used to be, and now I don’t think we’ll ever get that back.
I’m really hoping to get back in to exercising this summer.
These next few days will be C-R-A-Z-Y!