I’m so glad the weather is getting nicer! I’ve done several of my runs outside and, while they’re not all great, I enjoy them much more than my runs of the treadmill.
However, I miss my old running route. While both this one and my last one were on busy roads, the last one was so much prettier. There was so much green and (I’m not sure if this will make sense) there weren’t too many openings I had to run through. Both places are right beside busy shopping centers, and with this route I can really tell. I live right on the edge of three counties, and if I go left there are no sidewalks, but it get very rural very quick. I wish there were sidewalks here- the route would be SO amazing! But inside, I have to turn right and when my runs get longer, I’m going to have to watch out for traffic. I see so many people out running though, so I’m hoping drivers here are more aware than I’ve seen in some places.
I guess I’m just seeing once again that I can’t have everything, which I don’t mean in a bad way. While I loved my old apartment (and for the most part, the location of it in relation to my day-to-day life), there were so many other things in my life that I knew I needed to change. I guess there will always be things that I might want to change. I just need to make sure it’s smaller things that would be nice to have, and not the bigger things that really impact my life. I like to think that I’m on the right path with the choices I’ve made this past year! Time will tell!
My brain is fried, so I’m going to try the the “Currently” thing I see so often.
Watching: college basketball- March Madness!!
Reading: random things on the internet
Listening: to basketball games
Feeling: relieved it’s Friday (and a little annoyed I can hear my neighbor’s TV over mine…how does that work?!)
Planning: when I’m going to get that grading done this weekend.
Loving: that I have a weekend ahead of me!
I am tired tonight! Recently, I’ve had some very bad days, but I’ve also had some good days in the mix, too. And right now, I just feel so pulled in so many directions. I feel like I’ve been stretched out so much, I’m not really strong enough to hold anything. Stretched so then, I’m too flimsy now to really hold on to anything. I hate that I spend my weeks looking towards then end of the workday on Friday. One of my problems is that by the end of the work week, I really just want to use my weekends to to nothing and decompress, which leads to me getting behind on life stuff. So nothing is ever done and over (though really, is it ever?) and I always feel like I’m just trying to keep my head above water. (Or really, I’m trying to get my head above water!)
I think most people struggle to really find a balance in their lives, and I am definitely struggling right now!
A group of my colleagues and I went on our own “teacher field” trip today to get a preview of the field trip our kids will be going on. I have to say, this was a wonderful day and very much needed. I think it is so great when I get to spend time with my colleagues outside of the school (and even better if we get to miss a day or two to do it 😉 ). I find that this is where the best bonding comes from. Five of us carpooled to the destination, all seven of us ate lunch together (and I found I had to slow myself down- I’m so used to shoving food in my mouth and I had all the time I wanted today!), and then the five of us got back in the car to go home. (And then we all get to go to school for after school meetings- the one not-so-great thing about the day!)
We just got to talk: about school things, about different experiences we’ve had. We got to know each other a little bit more. I know it’s not really possible, but I would LOVE to do this more. I think personally I would really enjoy teaching on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, and having Wednesdays to do things like this, but I’m not sure how many of the people in charge would go for that. 😉
I’m very grateful for today. I got to spend time with wonderful people. We spent a lot of time outside, learning about an association and a place that’s important to where we live. We got to take our time eating at a restaurant during a school day… what more could you want?!
Now, I’m going to take a little nap and then drive to school for what I’m sure will be an after school meeting that definitely worth the hour round-trip. (There was just a bit of sarcasm there…)
A lot of today was crazy sucky. So it’s a great thing I bought myself a card especially for days like this a few weeks ago. This is the time of year where, even during a great school year, things can get crazy and stressful. So I’m glad I tried to prepare a little. It’s a cute card and I love the front of it, so I’m just going to share that today. Focus on what’s going well, right?!
Apparently, all you need to know about life you can learn from a leprechaun. Here’s the great advice:
- Life is too short for long faces.
- When you’re happy- sing.
- When you’re sad- sing louder!
- Expect magic to happen, and it will.
- If you can’t find a rainbow, paint your own.
- The word “impossible” is NOT an Irish word.
- Never walk so tall that you can’t see the “wee folk.”
- If you’re feeling blue, wear lots of green and think hopeful thoughts.
- No one ever outgrows the need for hugs, special dreams, or a wee bit of mischief.
I wrote a whole post, then deleted it. Grading is a hot topic, I know. But I will say this: It’s the end of the marking period, which means I’m now hearing from parents and students who want extra credit or want to know what to do to bring a grade up. Guys: THIS is not the time. The marking period began in JANUARY. In my class, grades reflect what you earned on the work you did. At this point, my opinion on grades is they show (as best as I can get them to) what a students knows about a particular set of standards/topics at this particular point in time. That’s all I say about that at this point.
But, I will write a little bit more on a slightly different aspect of grades that is concerning me. People here are very concerned with grades. It is not ok for someone to get a C or below. Forget what a kid actually earned. I have a few kids who will do random things at home and just be like, “Here, put this in as a grade. I don’t like what I have.” Ummm. Or the parent who say, “X is not good enough. What are you doing to do?” Or the kids who ask, “Is this a grade?” for every single thing we do, and if it’s not for a grade they just won’t bother. Or the parent who got mad that I won’t grade everything and then asked, “Then what’s the purpose for him doing it?!?” and scoffed when I said it was a learning activity, something I wanted them to do to practice and review and know the information better.
GAH. I want kids to learn. To try new things and not be too terrified to fail. I want teachers and parents and students to feel proud of students when they’re trying their best. Sure, we need to help the kids who are struggling, and push those who don’t really need to do much work to get things. But the purpose of coming to school every day is not to just leave with an A.
There’s my rant for today. (Can you tell I’ve gotten a lot of questions/extra credit requests in the past few days? And grades are due Friday.)
In other news, it’s beautiful out today!!
So I’m noticing I have this sort of weekly cycle I go through. On Monday, I wake up and it’s kind of just like UGH. Tuesday is whatever. Wednesday I think mid-way through. Thursday is whatever. Friday is good. 3:30 Friday is even better. Friday evening I feel awesome. Saturdays are great. Then Sunday comes. Sunday morning is ok. Afternoons I want to just slow down. Sunday evening…ahhh, catch up on work! Sunday nights, more work. And I’m noticing lately I’m feeling more and more defeated. And not looking forward to the week.
I’m trying to get back into running, and I signed up for a short race next month. Sometimes I do pretty well on my training runs, and sometimes, like today, I do not. I was excited to get outside for my run today since today was so beautiful and I was hoping for one of those better runs. A little over halfway through though, I had to stop to walk. And stop a few more times. Towards one of the later stops I really thought about how my body felt and I realized that I felt fine physically. I should have been able to continue running for a while! But mentally I just couldn’t do it. And I started thinking about this cycle I’m in. This is not who I want to be! I want to get up on Monday mornings and be excited for the week ahead, not dreading it and counting down to the weekend. (And Spring Break…and summer).
The past two days I kept thinking to myself I AM going to make this next week awesome! And here I am, once again feeling heavier and not wanting to go in. I feel like in some ways, I know how to change this. I need to think positively! I need to choose to make the week good! It’s just actually accomplishing it is a bit trickier than that.
So I guess this is where I start: Forget about the week. Maybe try to work up to a day. Tomorrow, take it block-by-block. Block-by-block, then day-by-day, then-week-by-week.
And I’ll end with 🙂 because ya gotta start somewhere!
Reactions and feelings from today:
- Waking up: Is it Saturday?!? Please tell me it’s Saturday… IT’S SATURDAY!!!
- Excitement about a new possible opportunity
- Nervous: Am I setting myself up for too much this summer?
- It’s ok- I think I’ll love this stuff
- Coming down from that high…now what?
- Dreary day outside. I could have used a bright and sunny Saturday.
- Someone’s changing plans and I’m not liking it, but it’s not really something I can say no to. Ugh.
- Month of free Hulu Plus- yay. The Hills is on it?!? YAY AND YES PLEASE.
- Realize it’s already 5:00. Why do work days never go by this quickly?
- And I’m still in my sweats, on my couch, watching The Hills. And I’m ok with that!
What a week! I’m so glad that it’s over and I hope I can make the rest of the weeks left in this school year better. I am really going to try to focus on the things that I can control and try to make those the best I can. One thing I’m going to focus on is the exciting news I got today: I applied for a seminar this summer and I was accepted! I will get to go somewhere I otherwise would probably never get to go to and learn about a topic I find incredibly interesting yet never really have the time to really get into.
I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity. From what I understand it’s pretty much fully funded, and that is HUGE! From the reviews I saw I should come back from it with ready to use materials for my class. Like I said, I’m also going to get to go somewhere I would never go to by myself. New information, new place, new experience!
A few minutes ago I saw this quote: Whether or not you can never become great at something you can always become better at it. I love this! I can always work on improving my outlook and myself. This can just be a(nother) great step!
Today was not good. I was dreading something yesterday, it seemed to actually go pretty well, and I was kind of excited to read my evaluation on it. BIG MISTAKE. It was the absolute worst evaluation I have ever had. I am usually pretty hard on myself and pretty honest about when I don’t do things well, and even I was shocked by this. According to this, I have no idea what I’m doing, I have no idea about the content area I’m teaching (!), and so on. Which is odd because the last time I met with this person a few weeks ago she said I was doing some great things and I’m doing a good job.
I don’t even know what to say without going into too much detail. Professionally, I have never been this shocked, hurt, confused… It’s really making me question myself and some of my plans I had coming up. Ugh!