SOL Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I haven’t lived a very exciting life, and I grew up in a poor family with a mother who is definitely a home body. So, we didn’t really do very many exciting things. I think that may be one reason why simple things can mean so much to me.

When I was looking at apartments, I was extremely nervous. I was coming from a not good situation and I had a very short timeline. I walked into the apartment I currently live in now and was excited. I don’t think I had been that excited about something in a long time! The first thing I noticed was the beautiful big window in the living room. And then I looked up and saw the ceiling fan. The bedroom had the same thing- big window and ceiling fan.

One of the things I love the most in life is sitting in a room lit up by the sun with the window open, feeling the breeze. (This is closely followed by an open window letting in crisp-fall air, and looking out and seeing the colorful leaves.)

When I walked into the apartment and saw these things, I immediately envisioned myself sitting in the living room reading with the windows opened, breeze flowing in. There were other great things about the place, too. I liked the color scheme being used, and it was just the right size for me. But I could not wait for late summer/early fall and being able to feel all those memories.

I’ve been in this apartment for almost two years now. I’m starting to get a bit sad; I’m fairly certain I won’t be living there after my lease is up. Rent is going up, and honestly, I’m already paying too much.

I came back to my mom’s house for a few days of my spring break. Last night, I was laying in bed, listening to the ceiling fan spinning and the wind blowing in from outside. I thought about how I’m still not anywhere close to where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I’m still renting (and like I said, I will probably need to move again). I’m not married, I don’t have kids. I’m not where I want to be financially. I’m at a place where I know I need to make changes, but it’s scary!

What I want is to find a place that is home. I want to work in a school, on a team, with kids, who make me excited to get up every morning and get to work (and of course, I play a huge role in making work feel that way, too). I want a house that has lots of sunlight, where I can sit and read a feel that beautiful breeze. (And it would be absolutely lovely if I had a smokin’ hot, incredibly smart and kind husband, along with a few gorgeous, bright, wonderfully behaved children. 🙂 )

 

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3 responses

  1. I wish for those things for you too. Especially the Home part. This slice is bittersweet but I find your writing to be honest and open. 🙂

  2. The apartment sounds lovely – I can see why you would miss it. Hold on to those dreams, too. You just don’t know what the future will hold for you!

  3. I agree. So much happens when you have your own anchor. I’m remembering my early apartments and they made all the difference in breaking out into the world for myself. I’m wishing you good luck in your search for a home of your own 🙂

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