The kids’ last day was Friday, but my last “teacher” day will be tomorrow. I will be back to do some summer group stuff next week, and then I’ll be really done next Thursday. This end of the year has been a bit different.
This was my fourth year at this school. Obviously next year will be my fifth. In my fourth different classroom. Teaching the third different grade level. In August, I will have lived in this city for four years, and I’m currently in my third place. I think I just figured out why it still doesn’t feel like home.
As I said, this end of year has been different. While we have lost people to retirements and resigning, it never really hit me that hard. At the beginning, I just really didn’t know the people leaving. This year, someone I have worked with each year, and who has helped me out a lot, is moving with her husband to my home state (but still a few hours from where my family is). I’m seeing that there is beginning to be a lot of coming and going, and that makes me really sad. My grade level team has been different each year, and will be completely different next year. I will, however, have about 12 students I have taught before in my class next year. While I love them, two of them drive me absolutely crazy (so I’m glad they wanted me- I’m hoping that means it wasn’t obvious they drive me crazy!). But there is a group of about 5 that are absolutely AMAZING and I’m starting to see how much I am going to need them next year.
I haven’t really had much consistency in my life, which is not good since I do well with consistency. There are too many important circumstances in my life right now that are up in the air and stressing me out. (There are also non-important things that I do know about that are stressing me out!) I am trying to get better at taking control of those things I can control and letting every thing else just be. On the outside, it must seem like I’m good at this- I get told I’m very flexible and go-with-the-flow a lot, but I need to make the inside match that.
So, in August, when I’m walking to a new classroom, working with a new team, and teaching a new curriculum (and dealing with who knows what else in my actual life outside of the classroom, such as getting a life outside of the classroom that doesn’t involve napping!), I will be extremely grateful for all of those familiar faces, giving me some consistency and, in their own sweet way, support.
*This is so NOT what I was expecting when I started to write this. It’s times like this that I realize how great writing, even journal-type writing, can be!! I have joined another writing thing this summer- hopefully I’ll have more moments like this.