I’m starting to keep track of little things I can write about, which is exciting. Usually when I try to write, nothing comes to mind. Now, I’m having a hard time deciding on which little piece to write about. Hopefully this will be a long term problem!
Today I just need to write to get something off my chest. Part of me knowing there is a good chance I will never just let myself be happy, let myself enjoy what I’m doing and where I’m at. I am searching for new jobs, but I don’t know that I will be able to muster up enough courage to apply. There is one that seems pretty perfect for me- I’m pretty sure I have some qualifications that others don’t, but I need to apply NOW and I am just not ready. I need to ask people for references, have them actually write them, update my resume, update my online portfolio…and really I know these all are not huge things but I’m making them seem bigger than they are. It’s scary!
With the job I saw today, I would move back to my home state. Which is fine. Probably even great, and something I think I want to do. But there’s a part of me…what if it doesn’t work out?
I’m going to save all those other feelings for another post on another day! Hopefully one day I will be able to flush this all out and understand it more.